


17 and pregnant

by meuccio23



Category: Original Work
Genre: Absent Parents, Adolescent Sexuality, Bullying, Childhood, Depression, Divorce, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, First Love, Loneliness, Love, Pregnancy, Problems, Promiscuity, Teenagers, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 05:25:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4991926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meuccio23/pseuds/meuccio23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Francesca is a 17-years old and has to do a pregnancy test. Is this going to change her life forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The beginning

I used to think that adversities happen to others and I imagined to be protected, as I lived in a special world where everything goes right and nothing can go wrong. But suddenly I woke up and realized that my actions had consequences and everyone pays the price of his mistakes.   
I’m 17 and my name is Francesca, an ordinary and common name just like me. There’s nothing special about me except a piercing on my left eyebrow and a couple of tattoos that I show off with pride as a mark of maturity and emancipation.   
Today I went through one of the most difficult moments in my whole life because for the first time I had to deal with my problems and I didn’t bypass my problems as I always did. I became brave and understood that I couldn’t postpone it anymore, it was about time I took the lead on the issue.  
The day began as usual : I woke up all alone, mum had left to catch her train. She works far away and I rarely see her. I didn’t feel like going to school so I stayed in bed until lunchtime, I felt nauseated and couldn’t get up.  
This thing worries me: I have been having this doubt for weeks but I haven’t bought a pregnancy test yet. This night I had a nightmare about that crucial moment: I was queuing in the pharmacy of my town waiting for my turn. Then I went on and I asked for the test. The pharmacist, an old lady, stared at me with her penetrating blue eyes .She was probably thinking bad things about me because of my age.   
But things went on in a different way. I got into the building and luckily there was none in. I stumbled towards the counter and hesitated. Then, after a few seconds, I whispered “a pregnancy test please”. The pharmacist asked me if I preferred a classic o a digital one, talking to me as I was a little girl. This made me realize the situation I was stuck in, I was only a teen and should have been in class with my peers, not there.  
I answered I wanted a classic test, it was cheaper and I had few money. Mum lefts me some coins on the bedside table every morning to allow me to buy my snack. The shop assistant wrapped it in the paper and then gave me it. I quickly put it in my pocket and looked around stealthily, fearing to meet someone I knew. In that moment a girl that carried a baby entered and I stared at her. Would I look like her in some month time? She was quite young, probably just a few years older than me. The mother asked for some vitamins and for a moment we stared each other. I feared she would understand my preoccupations but I was paralyzed, I couldn’t move while I thought.   
The cry of the baby woke me up and I went out. That blue-eyed child looked around, curious about the surrounding world. What was having a son like? What emotions did it give you?  
I got home. I headed to the bathroom. I thought it was better to do it as soon as possible rather than to postpone. The truth would come out and I would have to take my responsibility. I took the test and read the instructions. It was easy: it takes a few seconds and one or two lines come out, depending on the result.


	2. Background

Later I’m sitting on the floor holding the test. I’m waiting for the result to come out. It may change my life forever. It depends on the number of the lines: if it is one I can go on with my ordinary life , if the lines are two I’ll have to make a decision. My thoughts run quickly. Am I ready for a pregnancy? I don’t know. I’ve always had to look after myself all alone. My parents are divorced and I never see my father, he moved to the north some years ago. Mum works far away and we spend some time together only in the evening, she’s always tired for work and starves herself to maintain our little family. I don’t have a degree and I could never afford the things a baby needs. I should apply for a job but it’s difficult.   
If I were pregnant I would be forced to ask the baby’s father for help. He is a teenager, too, and I’m sure that he would turn pale and refuse to help me. His name is Luke and he is a superficial boy, interested only in gym and the disco. I met him there, some weeks ago, we were out with our friends and he bumped into me. I spilled my drink on him and we got wet. He apologized and we start chatting, than I gave him my number. It’s not a deep love but I needed attention and looked for someone to listen to me. I got close to him and we talked about my familiar problems: he tried to make it up to me.   
I dated a lot of guys before him because I look for love in a wrong way, I starve myself to have someone by my side and I can’t stand the loneliness, I wish there was a person that filled the emptiness inside me. For a moment others manage to do it but when I’m alone I feel bad. I want my family to be there for me and since they don’t care about me I look for love in another way. Behind my heavy make-up there is a child that had to grow up quickly and had to deal with problems bigger than herself. I was used to loneliness since I was very young and suffered a lot for lack of attention. My relatives thought about their problems and neglected me, leaving me alone. I spent my childhood by myself playing with my dolls in my bedroom, Barbie and Ken were my only friends.   
When I grew up and started school I found it difficult to make friends: the other girls looked down on me for my family situation and were more interested in expensive clothes and fashionable bags than in my character. I have a few friends and they are the only people to help me, but they are not able to understand me, they try hard but just can’t, we are distant.


	3. The result

I looked down, opening my eyes wide. Two lines appeared on the test and they started to become larger, and larger until they covered the whole surface. My heart hammered in my chest: what would I do now? My life had been changed forever by that plastic object. How would I tell my family about that? Mum would get angry and persuaded me to go through the abortion, we couldn’t afford a baby. On the other hand, my friends would tell me to keep him, saying I would regret the abortion in future. I couldn’t believe it. How could it happen to me? Suddenly I realized I was not ready to have a child, it was better to have an abortion rather than raising a baby in poverty, I would be an irresponsible mother and a problematic young woman. The best choice was preventing him from suffering for an absent family and being abandoned by himself, as it happened to me. I understood I didn’t want my child to go through this, I would become a mother when I was ready, not by chance.   
Five years have passed and I’m pregnant again. This time my reaction in front of the test was completely different: I told my fiancé that I needed to talk to him and we went to a restaurant. I was embarrassed but I managed to tell him about the pregnancy. He answered me he was happy to become a father and he was sure I was the right person for him; then, he proposed.  
I’m supposed to be happy but I feel guilty, I think every day about that child who was never born. If I had behaved in a different way my son would have seen the sun, the sea, the first pleasures of the life, drunk his mother’s milk, grown up and gone to school, become a man and had his own family. Although I’m happy to be pregnant, this time willing it, I can’t erase the regret. But deep inside I’ve decided to give this child all the love he deserves, the love that the other baby didn’t have. I’ll make it up and accept my past. Five years ago I was a teenager and I couldn’t go on with the pregnancy, but if I had been stronger I would have done it. But it’s too late to cry about my past decision, I feel mature and ready to become a mother: now I have a house and a good job, this child will have everything and I’m sure he or she will make me happy. I’ll recognize my fiancé’s features in him; this child is a product of our love and our bond will become stronger.


End file.
